Sunday, January 6, 2013

Relationship outside of marriage

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Hope everyone is doing well by the grace of Allah. Today I’m going to discuss with you all about the topic of: ‘relationship outside marriage and its consequences.'

Dear brothers and sisters, love is true, the emotions you feel when you are in love are true. Love is selfless, love is caring, and love is having mercy for each other. When you love someone you want the best for them.

We all have a heart and we will certainly be attracted to someone and fall in love; this is natural. However, this doesn't mean that you should give your heart away just to anyone. Your heart beat is special and you should keep it protected for that special someone. You should allow your heart to embrace halal (permissible) love, to experience this wonderful feeling and to not fall in haram (forbidden) love which is created by shaitan.

The problem is when you are in a haram relationship your love is not what is best for that person. This life is transient and will end, and your temporary love will end in hate. Know that no matter how much a person loves you in this dunya, if it is through a haram relationship, then they will hate you many times more than in the hereafter.

They will hate you, they will blame you, and they will beg for you to be thrown into the fire instead of them.“ I know this sounds harsh, but you must know – nothing will benefit you in this world if it is not for Allah (swt) . Not your money, not your looks, and not your love.

Whether you are married and living with your husband, or you are in a haram relationship, love that is not for the sake of Allah (swt) will never benefit you. Love that traps you, love that distracts you from your purpose, and love that leads you away from your Lord is destruction.

A lot of brothers and sisters have a relationship outside marriage, and at the first step of love everything seems colourful and bright to them. But this love is for temporary; it will not last for long. It starts off with a smile but ends with a tear. That’s how it is. This is what false love will give you; it cannot give you eternal peace and happiness. Always keep in mind “love before marriage is from shaitaan and love after marriage is from Allah.

I have seen how some people can get crazy for their significant other and not live a second without them, but then again you’ll see how easily they can break up over a little argument or misunderstanding. I have seen this and you definitely don’t call this love. As true love has a well-built bond between the two and it just cannot break that simply. The relationship is constructed by years of compassion, affection, love and forgiveness. People take the word ‘love’ lightly and say that they are in love without any feelings. However, love cannot exist by itself; it has wings of faith and trust which keeps it alive because without it love will falter just as a bird will if one of its wings is injured.

Love is a strong feeling; deep emotions which can lift you off the ground, increase you heart beat and turn your sleepy nights into restlessness. A lot of people who are in a relationship outside marriage easily break up over a small issue. They change their relationship status to single and update statuses like ‘I’m better off alone,’ ‘love hurts’ ect.

These people can simply fall in love and fall out of it again. They can break up with someone and then be with someone else again. Wallahi fellow Muslims, this is not what you call true love. If you truly love someone then you just can’t let go of them. You may say harsh words to one another but at the end of the day, you’ll feel bad and seek a way for getting back together.

Dear readers, what I’m trying to tell you is true love never hurts, and it never gives heartaches and pain. Therefore, do not ruin yourself with false love and false attachment.You will see how wonderful your married life will become if you just set your affairs to Allah and allow Him to choose an ideal person for you. Indeed He is the Al Knowing and Al Wise.

So if you are in a relationship where your love is so strong, then turn it into the best kind of love. The love that never fades away. The love that saves you forever.

If you really love someone, but you’re in a haram relationship, then have mercy on them. Do them a favor and make it easy for them to walk away from you unless you plan on marrying them. If you really love someone, don’t give them yourself – give them Jannah. If they comeback to you in a halal way, then make yourself a promise that the love that bonds you is fulfilled through your strive to get to jannah together.

Love each other – and love each other for the sake of Allah (swt).

In my opinion I think love should come to your life once and this should be the first and last love in your life, and it should only come to your life after you are married.

The feeling you will get when you are first in love is the greatest and best of all other feelings and you will not feel this way the second time you fall in love or give your heart to someone. Therefore, my fellow Muslims, why take out the blessings from your married life? You should keep this precious moment, this thrill of excitement for the person you will spend your whole life with. Your true soul mate, your true lover. Then why fall in love before your married, taste this feeling and ruin your married life? Tell me brothers and sisters, if you were to marry someone and then get to know that your wife/husband liked another person before and had a relationship then how would you feel then? You don’t have to tell me but I advice you all to think deeply, and see what your heart says.

Trust me brothers and sisters, this relationship you have with someone will never work out and if it does and you do get married you will still face hardship and pain in your married life. I have seen it and I haven't met a single person till today whose relationship has worked out.

Brothers and sisters, stay on the right path and attain halal love, that which is good for your mind and soul. Pray to Allah to provide you with a perfect match, someone who is strong in deen and is a practicing Muslim. Find the person whose hand you can hold today, and whose hand you can hold as you walk through the gates of jannah. That person will be the greatest gift to you, because they will lead you to a perfect end.

Start praying from now and inshAllah you will be blessed with the right person. My duas are with you all. May you be blessed with the right person you are seeking, and may all you hopes and dreams turn out exactly right.

Proud Muslimah

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