My Adiction to you Makes Me Feel Happy for A Week

And here I am, thinking about you. It's amazing how my mind can spend hours, even days, thinking in what you said, what you did, where you went, what little smile you gave me :) that's the best memory, you made me feel like there was a fire inside me. During minutes, hours, days and nights I think about u. It's just like an addiction, with the difference that real adictions make u feel horrible, but my adiction to you makes me feel happy for a week...
I know that probably u haven't thought of me for a looong time, but you should know that I don't; I spend my whole day thinkin of you, so I guess the only thing I can do is hope someday you'll love me as much as I do!!!

We Cannot Force Ourselves to Love, Just as we cannot Force Another to Love Us.

why? why do we fall for those who cant catch us, and ignore those who love us. why do we cry over those who only mean to cause us pain, and waste our time on someone who is just trying to bring us down. we cannot force ourselves to love, just as we cannot force another to love us. we can only be someone who is capable of being loved. who you need to be with isn't always the hottest girl or the the one that girl everyone would die to be with. Maybe sometimes the people that we are really meant to be with are the ones that make us smile. the ones that we can share awkward silences with. Maybe we are supposed to be with the one who is so wrong for us that it makes it right. someone who makes us see them for who they really are. I think that we need to accept that our princess may not be what we expected and that maybe... just maybe shes a little bit more ...

DEAR CHILD

Dear child,

Breathe deeply,
Blink away those tears
Step forward
Open your eyes
And walk away from the pain.

I know, its great. It’s a great pain.
The memories, they are precious to you.
Even though that’s all they are,
I know they mean more to you than almost anything.

I know you’re trying to decide between what’s best for you and what you want.
But I promise that if you give it a chance, the one who is better for you will end up being what you want.
I know, it’s difficult.
Each step will hurt like hell,
Because you’re walking away from everything you once believed in.
Walking away from the one you loved.

But there is nothing for you there.
Not anymore.
It’s best to close the door gently as you walk away.
Don’t slam it.
Bitterness isn’t the way to go.
Just slip away into the sunlight.
You shine on your own,
But its time you let the world see you,
And let the sun warm your skin.

You always loved to dance in the rain.
Keep dancing.
You’re good at smiling through the storm.
Even through all the heartbreak,
You never stopped giving hope to everyone else.

You got a little weary.
It’s affected you, certainly.
You’ve cried so many times.
Those bruises on this heart of yours?
They’re a faded yellow,
But I know it seems as though they’ll never fade.

But they will.
Only if you let them.
I know you feel like running away.
Like sinking into the shadows,
To escape the world and all its pain right now.

But what you need to do…
Baby girl, you know this new guy…
He loves you for you.
He loves you,
And  he won’t give up on you.
Run into his arms.
Sink into his love for you.
Show yourself to him.
He wants to see you
To know you.

Breathe deeply,
Blink away those tears
Step forward
Open your eyes
And walk away from the pain.

Because he’ll be there,
With his arms spread wide,
A smile on his face,
So happy to see that you’ve finally come ‘round.

Love,
Your Heart.

To Cherish Every Moment With You

im inlove with you.you dont know how much i love you, how much i shake when i walk in the street while reading your messages on my phone. and i save all of our online conversations..i feel a smile slip on my face at the sound of your name...i think about you most of the time. when i go to bed i cant help but fallin love with you again and again, i cherish every moment that we spend time together because im scared that one day it will never happen again. and everytime you walks in my mind i keep on singing a song title "i miss you like crazy". i dont know but this is really what i feel for you.  you are the first person i look for when i enter a room and i fall asleep to the memory of your face.. you're breathtaking and ive never seen such a gergoeous smile; but like i said, im inlove with you.

MAS MASAYA SA PILING NYA

and now i found the best-nakita ko na yung isang taong magbibigay ng kalgayahan sa buhay ko-yung isang tao na magpupuno sa pagmamahal na pinagkait sakin ng aking nakaraang buhay- mahal ko sya higit pa man-sakali mang magbago pa ang isip nya-mananatili akong ngmamahal at magpapahalaga para sakanya-iingtan ko yung pgmamahal na ibinibigay nya-dahil alam ko naman na hindi yun sapilitan kundi yun din yung naramdaman nya nung una palang-mahal ko sya higit pa kesa mga sa mga bagay na pinahalagahan ko noon paman-handa akong iaalay lahat ng sakripisyo para lang sa pagmamahal nya-gusto ko-alam nya at ramdam nya na buo ang pagmamahal na binibigay kopara sakanya- tapos balang araw-pwede nya ng sabihin sa sarili nya na"MAS MASAYA SA PILING NYA":gusto ko malaman nya na higit paman wala nako ibang hahanapin pa-katulad ng mga salita na binitawan ko-higit padun ang kaya kong patunayan-sa paglipas ng panahon-at pagbabago ng oras meron samin-iniingatan ko lahat ng mga sinsabi nya-pilit na sinusulit yung mga pagkakataon na pagsasama naming dalawa-na balang araw-hahanap hanapin parin namin ang isat isa..

You will always be the answer, when somebody asks me what I'm thinking about.

Love is Like Waiting for A Bus

I was standing in the bus stop at my place waiting for a bus to going somewhere.. After a couple of minutes, I saw a bus coming.
When the bus came, I looked at it and said to myself, “eeee… so full…cannot sit down one”, “I’ll wait for the next one.”

So I let the bus go and waited for the second bus. Then the second bus came, I looked at it and said, “eeee…this bus so old… surely very uncomfortable one.” So I let the second bus go and decided to wait for the next bus.

After a while, another bus came. It’s not crowded and not old but I said, “eeee… no air-condition one…and the weather is so warm, better wait for the next one. So again I let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus. Then the sky started to get dark as it is getting late. I panicked and jumped on to the next coming bus. It is not until much later that I found out that I had boarded on to the wrong bus! Got down at some appropriate stop and hired a taxi payed him thrice the money and finally reached, Thus I wasted my time and money waiting for what I want! Even if an air-conditioned bus would have come next, can I ensure that the air-conditioned bus won’t break down or will the air-conditioned be working fine?

So people.. I want to make sure that what We Want Is Not Wrong. But it wouldn’t hurt to give other people a chance, right? If I find that the “bus” doesn’t suit me, I would just press the red button and get off the bus! But wait…I am sure all of us have this experienced this before. I saw a bus coming (the bus I want of course), I flagged at it and the driver acted blur by pretending not seeing Me and zoomed pass !

The bottom line of being loved is like waiting for a bus and whether I want to get on the bus and give the bus a chance depends totally on Me and walking alone is just like being out of love If you love someone set him/her free. If he/she comes back to you, you know they are yours. If they don’t then it was never meant to be. Remember to always say what You mean. If you love someone, tell. Don’t be afraid to express it yourself. Reach out and tell someone what he or she means to You. Because when you decide that it is the right time, it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets.

Everyone was born to HURT

Why hurt yourself? Why cut your own body as if it wasn't hurting enough with the heartbreak? Does it really feel good or are you just drowning under the influence of the media or role models you look up to that hurt themselves when things go wrong?

Here is my advice to those beautiful people whose lives went 'all wrong', to the intelligent beings who 'can't catch a break'.

It is not the end of the world.

Why waste your time, creasing your face in sorrow and spilling hot tears down your cheeks over someone who can't see how valuable you really are? God has a plan for all of us, a script if you will. Everyone was born to LIVE. Everyone was born to LOVE. Everyone was born to HURT. Because we are only HUMAN, and as humans we must be reminded of the challenges and hardships to earn the right of walking on this Earth.

Your fated other is out there, born for YOU. If you keep hanging your head that lovely person is going to walk right by you without noticing the beauty of your soul.

"Keep your head up, hold it high, look at the world, straight in the eye." - unknownmind

This is Me

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with "Do it By 10's". At the end, choose 15-35 people to be tagged.

Be honest, you know your friends will comment and write something if they think you're lying.

TEN ARE YOUs

1. Are you single – yes yes yes
2. Are you happy –  no no no
3. Are you bored – i like being myself-im not emo- im just alone-
4. Are you white –  yes
5. Are you Italian – No
6. Are you intelligent – idk
7. Are you honest – im a lier
8. Are you nice – if your nice
9. Are you Irish –  no.
10. Are you Asian –  Yeah !


TEN FACTS
1. Full Name – Lee "bengbeng" Arr
2. Nicknames –  lee, teng, bengbeng, lalala, master.
3. Birth place – my moms wound
4. Hair color - blonde
5. Natural hair style -  bangs
6. Currently living at –  The peninsula-
7. Birthday –  November 25, 1992
8. Mood –   uknown, depressed, bored.
9. Favorite color –  gray
10. One Place you'd like to visit – U.S.A


TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
1. Have you ever been in love – EWAN
2. Do you believe in love at first sight – NO.
3. Do you currently have a crush? – I DONT CARE
4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally – IDK
5. Have you ever broken someone's heart  -- IDK
6. Have you ever had your heart broken – I FORGOT SOB* SOB*
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them –  YES.
8. Are you afraid of commitment – I JUST DONT LIKE IT.
9. Who was the last person you hugged – TEDDY(MY STUFF TOY)
10. Who was the last person you said I love you to? – I DONT SAY I LOVE YOU.

TEN THIS OR THAT
1.   Love or lust – FOOD
2. Hard liquor or beer –  SODA
3. Cats or dogs – MONKEY
4. A few best friends or any regular friends - NO FRIENDS.
5. Creamy or Crunchy – CREAMY-
6. Pencil or Pen – PENCIL-IT HAS ALWAYS AN ERASER
7. Wild night out or romantic night in –  WORSE NIGHT EVER
8. Money or Happiness – MONEY
9. Night or day – NIGHT
10. IM or phone -  IM

TEN HAVE YOU EVER
1. Been caught sneaking out-  IDK
2. Seen a polar bear –  YEAH,WITH HIS WIFE
3. Done something you regret – I REGRET WHEN FALLING INLOVE
4. Bungee jumped – YES. I LIKE IT WHEN I DEPRESSED
5. Eaten food that fell on the floor – NO.IT'S JUST A WASTE OF TIME.
6. Finished an entire jaw breaker –  IDK
7. Been caught naked – NO.IM SENSITIVE.
8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back – NOTHING.
9. Cried because you lost a pet- NO.I KILL THEM BEFORE.
10. Wanted to disappear –  I NEVER EXIST.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER
1. Smile or eyes – SMILE.
2. Light or dark hair – LIGHT
3. Hugs or kisses – SEX HAHAHA
4. Shorter or taller – I DONT CARE
5. Intelligence or attraction – INTELLIGENCE
6. Hot Topic or Hollister – HOT TOPIC
7. Funny or serious –  SERIOUS.
8. Older or Younger –  OLDER-BUT IVE ALWAYS HAD YOUNGER THAN ME.
9. Outgoing or quiet -  QUIET
10. Sweet or Bad – BADSWEET


TEN HAVE YOUS
1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd -  YES.
2. Ever talked on the phone for longer than an hour - YES. TALKIN TO MYSELF.
3. Ever tried walking on your hands – I WILL TRY.
4. Ever been to a rock concert –  NO.I HATE NOISE PLAY.
5. Ever been on a cheer leading team? – I DONT DANCE.
6. Ever went skinny dipping? – IT DPEND.
7. Ever been on a blind date – NO.
8. Ever went ice skating – YES.I TRIED TO SWIM
9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz,Volvo, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? – THIS DECEMBER.YAY.
10. Ever been in a circus? – YES.


10 WOULD YOU RATHERS
1. Go bungee jumping or cliff diving? – BUNGEE JUMPING- IT FEELS GOOD WHEN YOU ARE DEPRESSED
2. Watch a Horror Film or a Chic Flick? – I ALSO SEEN REAL GHOST.
3. Go to Hawaii or Aspen? – NEVERMIND
4. Play spin the bottle or truth or dare? –  TRUTH OR DARE-AND IVE ALWAYS BUSTED.
5. Cheat or be caught cheating? – NO.
6. Read or watch? – READ.
7. Text or Call? – I DONT USE PHONE FOR TEXTING OR CALLS.I USED PHONE BECAUSE OF MY MOM AND MOBILE FACEBOOK.
8. Sing a Rebecca Black Song or a Justin Bieber Song? - HAHAHAHA
9. Quiet and Happy or Loud but Hurting? – QUIET BUT IT HURTING
10. Go on Facebook or Tumblr? – TUMBLR.IT'S MY JOB.


10 RANDOM FACTS.
1. I LIKE POTATOES
2. I ALWAYS LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM.
3. I HATE NOISE.
4. I HATE CHOCOLATES.
5. I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU
6. I LOVE MY FAMILY-BUT THEY HATE ME.
7. I LIKE WALKIN IN THE RAIN.
8. I LOVE EATING-MORE RICE.
9. I LIKE BEING WEIRD
10. IM SENSITIVE, I KILL PEOPLE.


10 LASTS
1. Last phone call you made – MOM
2. Last person you hugged  -- MY PET. HE'S JUDAS AND THAT WAS 2 MONTHS AGO.
3. Last person(s) you hung out with –  MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND
4. Last time you worked – HIDDEN KILLER.
5. Last person you tackled – MY PET.
6. Last person you IM'd---  UNKNOWN.
7. Last person you texted – MOM
8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with? – OLDER SISTER.
9. Last person you webcammed with? – ITS NOT ME.
10. Last persons/things you missed – MY HOUSE.

There's Always Gonna be that One Boy

theres always gonna be that one guy. you know. that boy who could make you smile no matter how pissed you were at your best friend. the one who you could stay up all night texting and go to school the next day surving on an hour or two of sleep. the boy who warms your heart .... and your body by sharing his big, cumfy hoodies. the boy whos smile touches you deeply, and laugh you love to listen to. theres always that one boy who you turn to. the one boy you could hold hands with 24/7. the boy you get in trouble for, because you just HAD to sneak out to see him. the boy who kisses you just right, and you fit so perfectly in his arms. theres always gonna be that ONE boy who has to turn his back. no matter how much love you give him, he gives up. theres always gonna be that one boy who hurts you so bad you go numb. that one boy you can't get over... there's always gonna be that one boy.

Does heaven have a phone number?

Mommy went to heaven but I need her here today.My tummy hurts and I fell down;I need her right away.Operator, can you tell me how to find her in this book? Is heaven in the yellow part? I don't know where to look.I think my daddy needs her too,

at night I hear him cry. I hear him call her name sometimes, but I really don't know why. Maybe if I call her, she will hurry home to me. Is heaven very far away? Is it across the sea? She's been gone a long, long time- she needs to come home now! I really need to reach her. I simply don't know how. Help me find the number, please.

Is it listed under "heaven"? I can't read these big, big words; I am only seven. I'm sorry, operator, I didn't mean to make you cry. Is your tummy hurting too-- or is there something in your eye? If I call my church maybe they will know. Mommy said when we need help that's where we should go. I found the number to my church tacked up on the wall. Thank you, operator I'll give them a call. I cried so much

A Friend’s Promise

 if you need to talk,i'll listen.
if you need to cry,i'll hold you.
if you feel lost,i'll help guide you.
if you need to be angry,i'll let you.
if youre feeling afraid,i'll conmfort you.
if youre feeling attacked,i'll be your defense.
if you need to lean awhile,ill gve you a shoulder.
if youre feeling unsure,ill be your confidence.
if your feeling alone,ill be the friend who wont leave you.
if you need to learn to trust again,ill prove to you that you can.

A Big Dream for this Complicated World

I didn't talk to the people behind our home and it takes 2 weeks ago before I've been in a happy mood. There are people i lived with inside the apartment. But I think I am not belong to stay there. I wake up early in the morning just to go to my office to work hard. I cook my owned food and prepared for my lunch,,,i should eat first before i came out here. wanting and missing my mom that before when i wake up in the morning the food is ready i just have to sit and then eat in the dining area,unlike now that id be very dependent man in my life. Ive been office for how many year maybe i was 2 years in our company. The last time that i eat real food is last 3weeks ago and it was my dad's birthday. We flight for the province because of this kinds of celebrations.But im with myself,always,eveyrday and forever. I know that everybody doesnt deserve me in theier lives that one day I need to be left from them as one of their companion. Me with myself this time,I'm in work. making a multi tasking. Thinking about my future, my dreams, my family and my life.. People always notice my being silence. Someobdy say 'hey,are you talking?'but i just ignore them. Me with myself alone forever. I eat alone in the table and nobody was there to cooked me a food-to serve me a plate with real food. I miss those moments when my mom only call me just to eat and then after awhile.nothing. i just stay in my room, i'm not watching television much. most of the time i was in my room, writing, sketching and then listening to the saddest song ever. It was me with a scars in my foot a signs of the chance while i was in a coma before. 2010 when i start to go far away from my parents, i should have to leave and then find my own escape. This is me the man who has a big dream for this complicated world. When i was in a flight, I think about everything in my past life, specially when i was a little kids playing is the only thing i know. I didnt meant to hurt this feelings of mine but i cant control the falling tears from ym eyes. I cried a little bit, a little more wanting to go back in my past life being child. I'm twenty now a big man with a big dream. I asked myself: 'i'm a big man now,I look mature now but why is it still hard to reach my dreams?' and then i get my bag to get a drinks. I'm thirst, i never thought that its goin to be a complicated life for me. When my mom and my dad asking me to catch their dreams.I said yes.I want it. and I can make it.I know. But when i was there,i realize, its really hard. Not all the things ive seen using my eyes i will get, most of them, are needed to work harder to get that things. It's not like writing in a bond of a paper and then when you think its wrong you can erase it but life is so much harder than i know. Right now, Im asking god to take care of me, to guide me whenver and wherever i will be. I didnt talk for a long time and this silence means everything to me.,this silence was the loudest cry i made and this silence is the only way to defeat from the enimies and hates,I know this life and I got it in my Dreams..
to be continue...

MARK LEE WORDS

MARK LEE WORDS

1. Every day, I look back in and think 'look how far I've come'. That's what keeps me going.
2. the people you take for granted , are the ones you will miss the most.
3. Remember: "You are the writer of your own story, other people help you to open the next page."
4. Never be afraid to try something new because life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already knew.
5. A broken promises is as good as a lie
6. Life’s not about people who act true to your face. It’s about people who remain true behind your back.
7. people ask me why it's so hard to trust people,and i ask them why is it so hard to keep a promise
8. sometimes all you can do is walk away, hide your tears, and just pretend you're okay
9. i'm not sure what scares me more, that you will never start loving me or that i will never stop loving you.
10. to be old and wise, you must first have to be young and stupid
11. Silence is a boys loudest cry
12. Sometimes we expect more from others, cause we would be willing to do that much for them..
13. It's funny how in the end, you always go back, to the ones that have been there from the very beginning-just like how you treated your mom..
14. sometimes, I wish you'd pay more attention to my favorite
15. songs because the lyrics sing words i'm too scared to say.
16. dear Past, thanks for all the lessons. dear Future, I'm ready.
17. find something worth dying for, then live for it....

The Perfect Place To Say Goodbye

It's the last day i will meet the morning
The last fresh air that can hug me close today
I know this will be the last time I've seen the blue skies in the morning
And when afternoon come it would be the last time i am goin to eat lunch.
The family, friends, people, things i called my favorite
The last chance that i can see them clearly in my eyes
I admit that someday the world will forget about me
Will soon erase in the peoples memory just few of them stay
The last time i can used my tooth brush in the kitchen.
The last chance i could tell my mom how much i love her
How much i love my family and the whole part of my life
This will be the last time i ever know how to breathe
The air that comes from my soul calling by my name
The last tears that could fall apart run down from my face
The last word i could ever tell for everyone else know me
The last hug i could receive from the people who really loves me
The last story i can write in my diary
Written about what happen each day by day
I know people will never ever wanted me to stay
The last lvoe i could ever feel by someone i dont know if real.
The last enimies i could hear from them voice saying stupid jerk about me.
The perfect goodbye i could tell to everyone
This is what ive dreamed before,
The perfect world to come along with me alone
No people ive seen crying, no roses threw in my burial
The last testament that tells where the things come from when im gone
I love them, i love everybody and i love those people i will met tomorrow, for the next day and for the coming year or decades that i never make friends with them.
I am happy now, I am satisfied being nothing.
I'm done about crying each night when im alone
I'm done listening to the voice of the people who hates me
and I'm done being tired for the fuckin feelings i never explain anymore.
The last breathe that people feel
this is the perfect goodbye
This is the perfect life
Because life is for everybody
and not meant for me.
Goodbye.

You’re Not An Angel Cause Your My Wings

Do you remember what I’ve told you before?

That you’re like a flower I’m afraid to pick.

That hard to find and hard to let go.

You know how much fear i overcome

When i start liking you.

I don’t know how to say this in a way that I hope you believe in me

I'm not god; I know it, so how can you believe me right?

But Yana, you know that you’re the only girl

That I compared to a flower.

A flower that has thorn to protect from the strangers

Whom trying to pick you and threw your gentle petals

For the long time that we still have a communication

I learned to care about you,

it started when i realize that

Even though the world left me alone,

I know deeply in my soul that I still have you

So i would like to make a promise for you

And its only for you Yana, so listen.

I promise to be here whether you need me or not, whether you felt cry o glad, or when you feel all alone, I will be your one and only companion in your world, I’m can't promise to give you the love that you really want to get but I will do my best just to be next to you. you’re the best gift that Jesus sent me from heaven-you’re not an angel cause your my wings-I can never fly without you, I don’t feel in heaven when you are with me cause I feel so much high even though your not here, and how I wish I could be an air just to go through with your body and hug you so much gently. lalala

To: Yanna Mae Fernandez

From:  Lee Wishh

Buhay ko to! Kaya Batas ko To!

->Di ko obligasyon na pilitin ang isang taong ayaw.
->Kesa makipagusap o sumama sa isang taong ayaw ko-mas gugustuhin ko pang maglakad lakad magisa.

->may mga taong makikitid ang utak,yung mga tao na kahit anong halaga o dami ng paliwanag mo-hinding hindi ka parin maintindihan

->Madalas nga talga na may mga taong pakialamero/ra o nanghihimasuk sa buhay mo-lalo na yung mga taong mahilig maghukay ng nakaraan-

(bat pa nga ba paguusapan-wala na yun diba-tapos ano iisipin nya na apektado ka pa-nakalimutan na nga kaya di na binabanggit ee tapos ipipilit pa nya sayo-ano gusto nya tumakbo ka paatras?)

->Minsan yung tao alam na nga na mali-magtatanong pa kung ano ba yung nagawa nya-
(anong paliwanag pa ang gusto nyang marinig?yung mga salitang mas masasaktan sya?)
->Mas gugustuhin ko pang matulog buong hapon kesa naman makinig sa mga kwento mong di naman talga nangyayari sa totoong buhay.<-hek ->Hindi ako matalino,kung me mali ka man na nakikita o napapansin sakin-sabihin mo-pero wag ka maghintay ng kung anong komento galing sa bibig ko-kase alam mo na ang sagot dun-natanong mo nga ee sigurado me iniisip ka din na posibleng sagot ko.

->yung mahal mo-kesa naman magkwento sa ibang tao na me taong nagmamahal at nakikiusap sayo para lang mahalin mo sya-di nalang ako magsasalita

->wag kang matakot magkamali at masaktan-kase yung mismong pagsilang sayo-ginagawa ka palang iniisip na ng iba na isa kang pagkakamali-at dun nasaktan ang magulang mo.diba?

->oo wala akong kaibigan-mas gugustuhin ko pang magpanggap na me kaibigan kesa naman magkaron ng mga sinungaling na tropa.