A Big Dream for this Complicated World

I didn't talk to the people behind our home and it takes 2 weeks ago before I've been in a happy mood. There are people i lived with inside the apartment. But I think I am not belong to stay there. I wake up early in the morning just to go to my office to work hard. I cook my owned food and prepared for my lunch,,,i should eat first before i came out here. wanting and missing my mom that before when i wake up in the morning the food is ready i just have to sit and then eat in the dining area,unlike now that id be very dependent man in my life. Ive been office for how many year maybe i was 2 years in our company. The last time that i eat real food is last 3weeks ago and it was my dad's birthday. We flight for the province because of this kinds of celebrations.But im with myself,always,eveyrday and forever. I know that everybody doesnt deserve me in theier lives that one day I need to be left from them as one of their companion. Me with myself this time,I'm in work. making a multi tasking. Thinking about my future, my dreams, my family and my life.. People always notice my being silence. Someobdy say 'hey,are you talking?'but i just ignore them. Me with myself alone forever. I eat alone in the table and nobody was there to cooked me a food-to serve me a plate with real food. I miss those moments when my mom only call me just to eat and then after awhile.nothing. i just stay in my room, i'm not watching television much. most of the time i was in my room, writing, sketching and then listening to the saddest song ever. It was me with a scars in my foot a signs of the chance while i was in a coma before. 2010 when i start to go far away from my parents, i should have to leave and then find my own escape. This is me the man who has a big dream for this complicated world. When i was in a flight, I think about everything in my past life, specially when i was a little kids playing is the only thing i know. I didnt meant to hurt this feelings of mine but i cant control the falling tears from ym eyes. I cried a little bit, a little more wanting to go back in my past life being child. I'm twenty now a big man with a big dream. I asked myself: 'i'm a big man now,I look mature now but why is it still hard to reach my dreams?' and then i get my bag to get a drinks. I'm thirst, i never thought that its goin to be a complicated life for me. When my mom and my dad asking me to catch their dreams.I said yes.I want it. and I can make it.I know. But when i was there,i realize, its really hard. Not all the things ive seen using my eyes i will get, most of them, are needed to work harder to get that things. It's not like writing in a bond of a paper and then when you think its wrong you can erase it but life is so much harder than i know. Right now, Im asking god to take care of me, to guide me whenver and wherever i will be. I didnt talk for a long time and this silence means everything to me.,this silence was the loudest cry i made and this silence is the only way to defeat from the enimies and hates,I know this life and I got it in my Dreams..
to be continue...