Quotations for St. Valentines Day

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths, No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a qaurter of a century.-Mark Twain “To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day, All in the morning betime, And I a maid at your window, To be your Valentine.”-William ShakespeareLove is like standing in wet cement, the longer you stay the harder is to leave and

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Sarcastic Responses

1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...2. In the bus:A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't youtry again.3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed

Quotes & Quotations

• Women aren't that bad, but wives...! • Your lucky number is 6478389077163. Watch for it everywhere. • If I wanted to hear from an ass, I would fart. • I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. • You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me. • Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range. -Scott E

'The Simpsons' Quotes

“Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.”-Matt Groening, "Life in Hell"“Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?”-Matt Groening, The Simpsons“All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?' I'm trying to impress

Quotes by William Shakespeare

“A wretched soul,bruised with adversity,We bid be quiet when we hear it cry; But were we burdened with like weight of pain, As much or more we should ourselves complain.” -William Shakespeare “Action is eloquence.” -William Shakespeare “And since you know you cannot see yourself, so well as by reflection,I, your glass, will modestly discover to yourself, that of yourself which you yet know

Quotes by George Bernard Shaw

“A day's work is a day's work, neither more nor liess, and the man who does it needs a day's sustenance, a night's repose and due leisure, whether he be painter or ploughman.” -George Bernard Shaw “A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.” -George Bernard Shaw “A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.” -George