Cynicism & Insults

Thank you for not annoying me more than you do.If I throw a stick, will you go away?Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.A mind is a terrible thing to waste; I'm glad they didn't waste one on you.I'd like to help you out; which way did you come in?"Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the

Sarcastic Responses

1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...2. In the bus:A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't youtry again.3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed

Quotes & Quotations

• Women aren't that bad, but wives...! • Your lucky number is 6478389077163. Watch for it everywhere. • If I wanted to hear from an ass, I would fart. • I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. • You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me. • Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range. -Scott E