......and i would rather regret more what I didn't say, cause they talk about how much it hurts sitting beside you and keeping it inside how much I want you to be mine, knowing that i may never mean anything to you. They forget about how much it'll hurt to tell you I love you, and not get it back in return.
"am I crazy or falling in love, or is this really just another crush".
Maybe it's just a thing of the moment. Maybe i don't really feel the way i do. Maybe I'll be satisfied by just being in your life. Maybe I'll be fine just knowing that you noticed me for one day; that i walked by you, and you thought I was pretty; that you turned around and saw me and had to take a second look. Maybe I'll be satisfied if you only just knew my name.
"Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.
Maybe I really feel the way I do. Maybe I'm just in denial trying to convince myself that I don't feel this when I do, or that I don't want you when I do. It could be that I am just trying to find an excuse not to tell you how i feel. It could also be that I'm trying to change things cause of my own insecurities. Is it safe to say that I am not sure how or what it is that i feel?
"Last night i tried but i couldn't sleep. Thoughts of you were in my head".
I guess at a certain point i try not to love you cause of the fear of not being loved in return, but you know, my heart does what it wants to do, and that i can't control. I just can't come to telling you how i feel - whether i truly feel it or not. I don't know how to recover from being turned down if that happens. My fragile heart, my self worth, my esteem, my confidence, my everything.
"If this is't love, tell me what it is, cause i could be dreaming or just plain crazy".
yeah. pretty much. everything is giving me signals that i could really love you, but then again, i may just be crazy.. maybe about you. i could just be obsessed with you. or, i could just want you to be crazy about me, or obsessed with me.
"I try to go on like i never knew you".
And that's the truth. Because I walk right by you, and i say hi like the next person behind me probably would. I stare at you like every other girl with a good taste in a man would. You'll never have the slightest idea that all this shit goes through my head. You'll prolly never figure it out too.
Bottom line is, I have all these feelings..bottled up in this fragile heart of mine. and for as long as I am sane, which looks like forever, that's where they will remain. Cause I won't, not for one minute, take the risk of letting you know how I feel.. Only because of the fear that you will not love me in return.
...somehow, its hard for me dealing with this love thing.
that's how many girls feel right now... as i do it.
~***shanpepe***~
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