This is a friends facebook status:
"LADIES: (Hypothetical situation) Say your man proposes to you, but the ring does not meet your expectation. What do you do? 1) Accept it because you love him, 2. Say no because you don't like the ring or 3. Compromise and change it later."
Majority of the ladies who answered leaned more towards 1 - Accept it because you love him. I leaned more towards 3 - Compromise and change it later. and my own later was like "real soon". If you're one of those that would pick number one, you're prolly repeating the title of this post in your head. Or out loud. Yeahhhh, I sound materialistic, and shallow. I don't really care. *shrug* If you want to stop reading now, feel free. If you with me till the end, leggo! (in my Trey Songz voice)
So, the reason many people gave #1 as an answer is because if he loves you, or if both of you are in love, a ring shouldnt really determine that. What matters is the intent behind the ring giving in the first place, and the fact that its "true love". "Love" was the word that just kept coming up. I understand all that, but I would agree only to a certain extent. First of all, if you don't like your engagement ring, or connect with it, PEOPLE WILL KNOW. Believe it or yes. I have seen people who get engaged, and NO ONE ever sees the ring. Why? They are engaged, and that's a happy thing, and people should celebrate with them. The ring though? They just don't completely like it. I have seen other people who have gotten engaged and when people ask them to see the ring, they act like you're trying to kiss them. aka. very awkward. And maybe they give you the "who does that" look. As in, "don't ask to see my ring. Please and thank you". I have experienced these two situations first hand, and you know what? I don't plan on being like any of those people.
So, this is where compromising and changing comes in. You love the person, the person loves you, and that whole "love"shpill. That's why you compromise and take the ring. Now why I would get it changed? This is why. For me, a ring is much more than just the formalities of a proposal to be a bride and a wife. Its more than something to wear to let others know you married. It's more than something you show to people when they want to see proof that you're engaged. You see how beautiful that love is that you both share? Well this ring signifies that. This ring is a symbol of that beautiful love. I want to be able to connect with my ring. I want to be able to look at it and smile because my I can connect the feelings I have for my partner with it. I don't ever want to look at my engagement ring and think "only because he loves me". I want to look at it and be able to say "Nothing could be more beautiful or perfect." When people ask me if I love my ring, I don't want to have to lie. I want to be able to be sad when I forget to put it on because I love it so much, and not feel okay because besides, its not really my taste. I'm not in the habit of settling for things that I don't want or like. A man on one knee and an engagement ring are not going to change that.
I know this guy that let his girlfriend build her engagement ring. At first I was like ahhh, that takes out the excitement, but think about how MUCH she'll love and connect with it, and how each thing she adds to it will mean something significant in their relationship. I also know people who have changed their wedding rings for one reason or another and kept the original one still because they connect with it, and feel something extra cause they have it. So there. If you notice as well, I said nothing about monetary value. Im sticking with how much you like and connect with it. If you like and connect with a ring worth $100 , then that's perfect for you. If you don't like or really connect with a ring that's a million bucks, well.. you know my opinion already. But then again, everyone has an opinion, and if after this youre still going wha wha wha wha WHAT?! then I think I know yours.
One last thing. Somewhere deep down, I have a feeling that even though people say #1, they'll still wanna change it if this actually happens to them. That automatically makes your choice number 3. #jussayin.
That's that... as i do it.
~***shanpepe***~
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