MY STRANGER III

Dear Stranger,

It'll be the last time.

Not because I'm done letting you know how I feel. The reason? I've finally acquired that strength I've looked for for so many years. It's standing right at my doorstep, and I'm about to let it in, but first, I'mma have to let you out; and I plan on doing that with these last words.
       You see, on one hand, not many people go through what I've had to go through with you. On the other hand, I don't know what to say about those that have. There's something that we constantly search for without success. I'm not sure if it's the love that we long to be reciprocated, or the strength that we long to find to successfully move past the likes of you. I'm lying here on this bed, thinking of things that once reminded me of you - the times we laughed and kissed under the sun, the times we fought and walked out on each other. I'm listening to things that once reminded me of you - the love songs that want to be with someone, those that despise someone, those that want someone to love them back. I learned to be a little more careful about my diction when it regarded you, so permit me to explain my use of the word "once". Throwback roughly about 3 months ago. I'd be remembering those times, and listening to all this music...and crying - unhappy and wishing.    Well here's what 3 months can do. I'm lying here, on this bed, with the widest smile on my face - happy, and trusting.

       Granted, this is not the first time I've said stuff like this. It's amazing even to me, how much I've learned about myself in a hundred and something days. Here's three - I hate to flip out on people because that's just not me. [except i'm pushed to the wall]. I'm a better person than I gave myself credit for [God showed me], and most importantly, it's easy to let go of people once you understand exactly how you feel about them. I've finally made up my mind about you. I'm done with all the wishing. I'm done with waiting time out to see. I'm done with handing out second, third, fourth chances like dollar bills. I'm done with praying and telling God to give me something he's constantly saying no to. I'm done loving you. And yes, I'm comfortable saying that now. **smileee**
     However, I have to acknowledge all the good stuff. You taught me so much it's unbelievable. You taught me that it's okay to not be so perfect, because imperfection is beauty. You taught me that I could believe in people, even when no one believed in them. You taught me the importance of maintaining relationships. You taught me the beauty of hurt and pain, and the joy of losing emotions in tears. One thing... the greatest thing you have ever taught me, is to accept strength when it comes, and move on. Unbreakable strength is at my door asking to be let in, but you know this - that we lose something to every strength that we receive. I tried to lose a lot of things in exchange for that strength, but all the stuff came right back to me, cause I wasn't sending out the right thing. I had tried everything... everything... but you. Right now, the only thing that stands between me and that strength is you. I already feel some of it, and judging by what I've felt so far, I think sending you out that door is worth every. single. bit. of that strength.

 
      So, with these words, this is me sending you out that door, and out of my life. I'm taking the strength. It'll last longer than you ever did, and it can promise healing that you never could nurture. I wish you all the good things that life has to offer. and before I say have a good life, here's my last piece of advice.

You just did by losing me. Don't do it again.

I'll make a confession that my heart is overjoyed to reveal.
I don't miss you. Instead, it feels good to finally, ... be free.
annnnnnnnnndddd now I can say it. Have a good life. :-)

Goodbye stranger.
Please remain a stranger to me... Forever.

This will be the last letter...as i do it.

~***shanpepe***~

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