As usual, every year comes with a few lessons that you have to learn before it's over. 2011 brought me many lessons, and some of those were a hard pill to swallow. Here are some of the most important things I learned this year:
DEATH IS STILL A BITCH. You never get used to the pain of losing people you love. It's unbelievable pain, and just living in the reality that you will feel that pain again is scary. Chuka Okeke & Azubah Ityav, I miss you more than words than say. I still feel the pain of your departure like a fresh wound. Keep smiling down on me, and when I'm bout to do something wrong, smack me. :-)
LOVE IS OVERRATED. I know it's about love, but it's not
only about love. People sit and write all these beautiful quotes that sound good only on paper and not in action. They say if you love someone, tell them before it's too late. Do they ever say what to do when the person just doesn't feel the same way? They say love doesn't give up if it really wants something. Do they ever say what to do when you can't, don't or won't get it? *shrug* Quit trying to make love blossom where it won't grow. Maybe like Rihanna, you'll find love in a hopeless place.
GOD PLACES PEOPLE IN STRATEGIC PLACES. I can't say it simpler than that. God places people right where you need them. You just have to realize it, and appreciate it. S/O to the most gorgeous Zednani St. John for being there for me when I thought I didn't need anyone to be. She always had the right words. Always. To Brenda Garcia for a more than amazing ride of friendship. To Vanessa Anyoti and Limunga Mingo for unwavering love and support and FUN! To Victoria Reese, Jonathan Eigege, Khushboo Gulabrai, Sean Markwei, Toyin Ogusanya, Christine and Katie IK and Kofi for their amazing sense of humour and company when I needed it the most. To everyone who reached out to me one way or the other, the love never dies. You know this.
MUSIC!!!! I can confidently say that I spent almost everyday longing to be in a studio singing out my lungs. I am in love with music. 2010 taught me that I wasn't a good writer. 2011 taught me that I could learn to be, and I'm working on it. I wrote three songs that I really love. And was in the studio for half a second over the summer. :-) I'm actually looking into modelling too right now, so yeah, music and modelling I guess. :-) Is there now a pattern to finding out what I really love? what else starts with an "M"? lol
THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL LIES WITHING YOU. I'm not going to make this unnecessarily long. Just one sentence - Before you can be totally comfortable, and not need the attention of any other person to feel good about yourself, you have to genuinely love yourself.
WISHING AND WAITING CAN BE COSTLY. Trust me, I would know. I'm not one to really push the whole "Life is short" thing, but honestly? It passes you by when you spend a good part of it wishing and waiting for something, when you could be working and achieving something else. If it's not happening, let it go. There's only so much that time can tell. If it doesn't wait for you, why wait for it? On to the next one.
I REALLY DO LOVE MY COUNTRY. I knew I loved Nigeria, but I didn't know I loved it this much. These bombings, corruption and a government with misplaced priorities have broken my heart greatly. I'm constantly on my knees for my country, and for God to step in and make the change happen. I just try to imagine this country with peace, without corruption, and with good leadership. #oneday.
A year full of manyyy experiences. There are some that created memories I want to hold on to forever. Others make me remember things that I am not proud of. Whichever way, I'm learning that regrets? They just don't cut it. Making memories and learning lessons, however, do.
That's what 2011 taught me... as i do it.
~***shanpepe***~
