Funny New Year Cards, Funny New Year Resolutions

Celebrate this new year in a fun way to fill hearts of many people with humor, fun and entertainment. Explore more stuff on funny new year cards to share smiles with the World. Funny pictures, resolutions, wishes, jokes, quotes, .......... all make great stuff for fun readers who look for funny stuff on internet.

New Year Friends Cards, New Year Wishes to Friends

We all have one or many friends in our life who are like angel when we are in pain. Life without friends looks boring because friendship add the spice of fun and group laughter. We would like to inroduce some brilliant greetings for your buddies in the form of new year friends cards making your friendship strong, loving and joyfull.

Holiday Season Quotes - Christmas Quotes

The Holidys season comes once in a year and why not cherish this seaoson with best quotes. Herein I am posting best love, romantic, funny and motivational quotes for christmas, new year and holiday season.

1. At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.
2. Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.
3. Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
4. Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.
5. I have had a holiday, and I'd like to take it up professionally.
6. There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
7. Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
8. I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up : they have no holidays
9. Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands - and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.
10. "The most important part about Christmas is the first six letters."
11. Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.

Wish you happy holidas season with unforgetable christmas and new year.

Cheesy Banat Christmas Text Messages

Here's another compilation of the Matinding Banat text messages.. they're kinda similar to the cheesy pick-up lines. But these are still very popular today and they're fun to send to your friends and even loved ones this Christmas and New Year. For NEW CHRISTMAS QUOTES, CLICK HERE.

1. boy: parol kba? girl: bkt? boy: kse all these years ikaw pa rin ang nksabit sa puso ko..

2.boy: candy cane ka ba? girl: bakit naman? boy: kasi pag nakikita kita, i always want to lick you. :p

3.matinding banat: "bakit ako malulungkot kung single ako't malamig ang Pasko ko... kung marami namang taken na gusto ako..."

4. boy: miss, nakalunok ka ba ng kwitis? girl: bkt nmn? boy: pag ngumiti ka kasi, may spark.. have a cheeezzzy new year!

5. girl: anong gusto mong gift this christmas? boy: relo. girl: may relo ka pa nmn ah.. boy: eh kasi sinira m relo ko eh.. girl: ha? pano k sinira? boy: tuwing kasama kasi kita, tumitigil ang oras ko. :)

6. boy: anong gagawin mo this christmas? girl: wala naman.. party lng.. ikaw? boy: ganun pa rin.. ..mamahalin ka. yihee! sobrang cheezy talaga!

7. boy: alam mo ba noong bata ako naniniwala ako sa pagsasabit ng medyas tuwing pasko. girl: talaga??? bkt naman? boy: oo naniniwala ako. kasi noon gusto ko ng laruan tapos paggising ko may laman ng laruan yung medyas ko. tapos nung isa pa, sapatos naman. paggising ko ulit meron na. kaya lang ngayn, mukhang mahihirapan ako magsabit ng medyas... girl: bakit naman??? boy: wala kasing medyas n kasing laki mo eh, para paggising ko sa kin ka na.

8.boy: alam mo andami m yatang kinain nung noche buena.. parang tumataba ka.. bumibilog.. at unti-unting.. nagiging mundo ko.. :) girl: alam mo para ka namang araw.. dahil sa'yo lang umiikot ang mundo ko. dobleng cheeeezy!

Thanks for loving the first banat series. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Matinding Banat - Part 1 is HERE.

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Want to Win the 2010 Starbucks Planner - Maver's Starbucks Planner Palooza

My Entry:

If you were a Starbucks drink, what would you be and why?

absolutecousins

If I were a Starbucks drink, I would be the highly indulgent Dark Cherry Mocha Frappucino Blended Coffee. It is a concoction of the well-known Mocha Frappucino infused with rich cherry flavor and has bits of bittersweet dark chocolate. Yum! It is part of Starbucks’ Holiday Season Line-up so it is only offered once a year. I chose the Dark Cherry Mocha Frappe not only because I have a sweet tooth but also because I am similar to the drink in the sense that hidden beneath the normalcy is a multi dimensional person. I love things that stimulate me spiritually and intellectually, at the same time I am a sucker for crazy funny and shallow earthly things—seems like a bizarre mix, yeah, but it is a note-perfect combination just like the Dark Cherry Mocha Frappe.
This drink would definitely go well with the cherry planner. heh. :)

If you want to WIN the Most Coveted 2010 Starbucks Planner, visit Maver's site: http://maver.wifespeaks.com/2009/12/mavers-starbucks-planner-palooza.html

Superbong

The mechanics are simple:

1. Answer this question on your blog: If you were a Starbucks drink, what would you be and why? And go visit this site for more information: MAVER'S STARBUCKS PLANNER PALOOZA...

2. Deadline for entries is at 11:59 pm of December 12, 2009 (Philippine time)

I hope you would share this with everyone! Happy Holidays!

Christmas Giveaways!

Christmas is fast approaching and Shop N' Chomp is giving away lots of freebies for all of us. :) Contest is open to everyone and you do not need to have a blog to join. The mechanics are really easy too!

Prizes include:

* Tsumori Chisato 2010 calendar book
* Limited Edition Tsumori Chisato for Shu Uemura mirror with pouch
* Handmade gold leaf stud earrings
* Various sheet masks
* 2 boxes of Revlon Runway Collection artificial nails

and more surprise goodies!

Visit Shop N' Chomp for more details.
Contest ends on Christmas Day 12AM PST December 25, 2009.

Win P500 Gift Certificates or $10

Living Life to the Fullest is giving away two P500 Gift Certificate of your choice (any store that sells gift certificates, name it and they will deliver it to you). These Gift Certificates are applicable for people in Metro Manila only, if you live in the provinces or abroad they will give you $10 through your paypal account instead.

Visit Living Life to the Fullest for more details about their contest.
Contest ends December 15, 2009.

Seasonal love and friendship quotes 2009 - 2010

A week from now December 2009 will begin. December has always been a special month as it brings days full of love and celebrations and this celbration lasts not only till December but a couple of months in the next year also. In other words december ends the year but begins the season of love and celebrations. Why no then start the month with some unforgetable love and friendship quotes. Reason for readin my love quotes blog this december:

Quotes for begning holidays season
Christmas Day Quotes
New Year Quotes
Valentine Day Love Quotes
Best Freind Quotes
Sad Quotes avout love
Say Sorry Quotes
Quote to say to someone Special and lot more...

So keep reading and enjoy!!

Friendship & Relations: Tips for one and all

Hi All,

Thanks for making my blog a huge success & for your valuable comments. Today I am posting here more than lovequotes or friendship quotes. Why not post smoe tips on friendship and relationships on whome I have posted lots of quotes here. Different relationships have different fates. Some end up in break up, some in marriage which may last till divorce. However there are some relations that never die and last forever.

If you are in a relationship and your relation is going through some hard times due to some known or unknown reasons then you must visit the relationship section of article alley wherein you can find some excellent articles on datng and relationship from expert authors. This section is equally benefecial for happy love couples and they may enjot learning some tips that will add more romance in the love life.

Apart from making existign relations better you can also find some article interesting articles like "How to catch a cheatin spouse". In this article author Inferno discussed the ways to discover if your partner is cheating on you. In another interestign article author Vida Curnutt talks about marriage counsellin for saving a marriage. For more information you can visit: http://www.articlealley.com/index_1_35.html

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Friends Are Like Angels, Friends Are Angels Cards and Quotes

Friends are like Angels who lift our fee when our wings have trouble flying so thank your dear friend who have worked like an angel for you when you were in pain ad he/she came as an angel and relieved your pain with balm of love and care. Tell everyone how you feel with a friend like angel through these cards and quotes. Forward our friends are like angels cards and greetings for free.

One Tree Hill Season 7 Episode 1 Quotes

Season 7 Episode 1 Title: 4 30 AM (Apparently They Were Travelling Abroad)Dan: I sat there in the dark..... alone, broken. On the eve of my son's first game in the NBA. I sat alone on a playground basketball court and waited for death. I'd been given only days to live. That was 14 months ago._________________Clay: Someday when he is older and he thinks back on his best days as a kid, he will

Romantic Love Quotes & Memories of Luv Quotes

• Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.
• Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force
• yourself to fall, you just fall.
• Faith makes all things possible. Love makes them easy.
• Do you love me because I am beautiful or am I beautiful because I am loved?
• Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell.
• No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
• I love you more than you can know...I need you more than you will ever know...I care for you more that anyone you know.
• Romance is like an endless ocean. Always flowing but never stops
• A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, alwayz with the same person.

Most popular post at the love quotes to say to someone :

• Type of love
• Love and social networks
• Chanakya Niti Quotes
• Best Friendship quotes

This song is deticated to my Love

I miss you a lot baby :(

Famous OBAMA quotes

Famous OBAMA quotes

Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the Planet Earth. Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for "That One." And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president. If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible that I'm a little too awesome.
Barack Obama

But I have to say tonight's venue isn't really what I'm used to. I was originally told we'd be able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium, and can somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?
Barack Obama

I do love the Waldorf-Astoria, though. You know, I hear that from the doorstep you can see all the way to the Russian tea room.
Barack Obama


You notice that people who've been in Washington too long, they don't talk like ordinary folks,. We had this debate in Las Vegas, and somebody asked me, "What are your weaknesses?" So I said, "Well, you know, I don't keep track of paper that well, I'm always losing paper, my desk is a mess." And then they asked the next two candidates. And one candidate says, "Well, my biggest weakness is I'm just so passionate about helping poor people." And then the other one says, "I'm just so impatient to help the American people solve their problems." So then I realize well, I wish I'd gone last and then I would have known.. I'm stupid that way, I thought that when they asked what your biggest weakness was, they asked what your biggest weakness was. And now I know that my biggest weakness is I like to help old ladies across the street.
Barack Obama

The mimic bands the keyword opposite the given earth.

Tagalog Love Quotes

1. Sabi nila, ang tanga ko daw kasi hinihintay pa rin kita. Kasi ok lang sa akin kahit nandiyan sha. Kasi wala naman akong magagawa para malaman mo na mahal kita. Paano kapag naging tayo? E di masaya, isang manhid at isang tanga.

2. Kung mahal mo raw, ipaglaban mo. Totoo ba yun? Paano kung hindi ka niya mahal? Anong ipaglalaban mo? Isang pag-ibig na ikaw lang ang nakakadama? Mahirap ata yun ah! Kaya mo ba? Pero kapag mahal mo talaga, kakayanin mo diba?

3. TANGA? Yun yung nasa iyo na, pinakawalan mo pa.

4. Nang di ko aminin na mahal kita, akala ko naisahan kita. pero mali pala ako, dahil nang magpasya kang layuan ako, dala dala mo ang puso ko...

CLICK FOR MORE TAGALOG LOVE QUOTES HERE. New heartbroken and sad and sweet and inspirational quotes will be posted regularly, so check back soon! Better yet, Subscribe or Bookmark the site to get the updates!
Dont forget to SEND US A MESSAGE if you have any more love quotes to share.

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Loan Arithmitic - Best teacher jokes

Loan Arithmitic - Best teacher jokes

Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. 'If you had ten dollars,' said the teacher, 'and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?'

'Ten,' said Little Johnny firmly.

'Ten?' the teacher said 'How do you make it ten?'

'Well,' replied Little Johnny 'You may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesn't mean you'll get it!'


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Boots - Best teacher jokes

Boots - Best teacher jokes

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my
boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,"Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them."

She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed them in the
toes of my boots..."

Her trial starts next month.


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Teaching Applicant - Best teacher jokes

Teaching Applicant - Best teacher jokes

After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said, "Let me see if I've got this right: You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning. You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.

You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams.

You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly
with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps. You want me to do all this, and then you tell me.............. I CAN'T PRAY?"
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Better Grades - Best teacher jokes

Better Grades - Best teacher jokes

Little Johnny wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement.

He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades...somebody is going to get a spanking!"
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One of my Kids - Best teacher jokes

One of my Kids - Best teacher jokes

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.

He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly,

"No, I'm your son's teacher."
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Spring Fever - Best teacher jokes

Spring Fever - Best teacher jokes

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.

Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: "First Question: Which tire was flat?"

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How Many are Left - Best teacher jokes

How Many are Left - Best teacher jokes

The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"

"None," answered little Norman.

"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."

"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"
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No wonder English is so hard to learn - Best teacher jokes

No wonder English is so hard to learn - Best teacher jokes

No wonder English is so hard to learn


We polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

A farm can produce produce.

The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.

The soldier decided to desert in the desert.

The present is a good time to present the present.

At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.

The dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance for the invalid was invalid.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.

I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
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Little Johnny's Science Lesson - Best teacher jokes

Little Johnny's Science Lesson - Best teacher jokes

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.

Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?”

Little Johnny in the front row proudly said, “You're a mother!”


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Philosophy Exam - Best teacher jokes

Philosophy Exam - Best teacher jokes

Philosophy Exam


An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words:

"What chair?"
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The Professor Makes Change - Best teacher jokes

The Professor Makes Change - Best teacher jokes

The Professor Makes Change


A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

The next class period, the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.
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English Essay - Best teacher jokes

English Essay - Best teacher jokes

Jimmy's English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So it was only to be expected that he would get furious when Little Jimmy handed in a poor paper.

"This is the worst essay it has ever been my misfortune to read," ranted the teacher. "It has too many mistakes. I can't understand how one person would have made all these mistakes."

"One person didn't," replied Little Jimmy defensively. "My father helped me."

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Kids are Quick - Best teacher jokes

Kids are Quick - Best teacher jokes

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.


TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O -D-I-A-L
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!


TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: ! Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.


TEACHER: Harold, what do yo u call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
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Late for school - Best teacher jokes

Late for school - Best teacher jokes

The new family in the neighborhood overslept and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus.

The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said that she would have to direct him to the school.

They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes - but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home.

The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she'd led him around in such a circle.

The child explained, "That's the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It's the only way I know."
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Misbehaving Phone Call - Best teacher jokes

Misbehaving Phone Call - Best teacher jokes

Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.

Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving.

"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny here for two months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."

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Stricter with the screening process - Best teacher jokes

Stricter with the screening process - Best teacher jokes

Stricter with the screening process
A young man dies and goes to Heaven, where he finds he is third in line at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter is taking a much-needed break, so an angel is admitting the newly arrived to Heaven.

The angel tells the three new arrivals that because so many drug dealers and other criminals have managed to sneak into Heaven that St. Peter must now be a little
stricter with the screening process. Each person is required to state his former occupation and tell his or her yearly salary.

The first man in line says, “I was an actor, and I earned $1 million last year.”

The angel says, “Okay, you may enter.”

He turns to the woman in line and asks her about her life.

She states, “I earned $150,000 as an attorney.” The angel thinks for a moment and then lets her in, too.

He turns to the third one in line and asks, “What have you done with your life?”

The man replies, “I earned $8,000 last year . . .”

“Oh,” the angel interrupts. “What did you teach?”
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earth science class - Best teacher jokes

earth science class - Best teacher jokes

earth science class
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

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School Daze - Best teacher jokes

School Daze - Best teacher jokes

School Daze
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "

That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.

The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.

"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.

The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"

With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"
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An Atheist - Best teacher jokes

An Atheist - Best teacher jokes

An Atheist
A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not an atheist."

Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a Christian."

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.

"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly.

"What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

She paused, and smiled. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."
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Best teacher jokes of all times

Best teacher jokes of all times is a collection of the best teacher jokes on the internet.

An Athiest

School Daze

Earth science class

Screening process

Misbehaving Phone call

Late for school

Kids are quick

English essay

The profeessor makes change

Philosophy exam

Little johnny's science lesson

Hard to learn

How many are left

Spring fever

One of my kids

Better Grades

Teaching applicant

Boots

Loan Arithmetic

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top 10 most inspirational quotes: famous inspirational quotes

The top 10 most inspirational quotes.

Famous flirty quotes: The best flirty quotes of all times list 4

Famous flirty quotes: The best flirty quotes of all times
A collection of the most famous flirty quotes and the best flirty quotes of all times.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #31

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #32

I get the best feeling in the world when you say "Hi" or smile at me, because I know that even for a second that I've crossed your mind.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #33

Every night I go home crying because I'll have to wait until tomorrow to see you again.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #34

If someone was to write a story about my life, the climax would be when I met you.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #35

The shortest word for me is I
The sweetest word for me is LOVE
The only one for me is YOU

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #36

Loving you is like breathing; How can I stop?

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #37

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #38

If nothing lasts for ever, will you be my nothing?

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #39

You can fall from the sky
You can fall from a tree
But the best way to fall
Is in love with me

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #40

Love Is Like Quicksand:
The Deeper You Fall In It
The Harder It Is To Get Out.

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Famous flirty quotes: The best flirty quotes of all times list 3

Famous flirty quotes: The best flirty quotes of all times
A collection of the most famous flirty quotes and the best flirty quotes of all times.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #21

What's a y woman like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #22

Most pictures may be worth a thousand words, but a picture of you needs only one! Wow!

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #23

Did you have a fever when you took that picture? You look pretty hot from here.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #24

I know what caused global warming. You!

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #25

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #26

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #27

Have you come to terms with the effect your beauty is having on people's computer surfing habits?

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #28

You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #29

This isn't a belly; it's a fuel tank for a love machine.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #30

Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl.

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Famous flirty quotes: The best flirty quotes of all times

Famous flirty quotes: The best flirty quotes of all times.
A collection of the most famous flirty quotes and the best flirty quotes of all times.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #11

If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice?

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #12

I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #13

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #14

I hope you know CPR, cause you take my breath away!

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #15

So here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #16

This is me making the first move....your turn!

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #17

Apart from being y, what do you do for a living?

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #18

Did it hurt When you fell from Heaven?

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #19

Can I borrow a quarter? I just want to call my mom and tell her I just met the of my dreams.

Famous flirty quotes: Best flirty quotes #20

Hey, I just noticed you looked at my picture, I'll give you a minute to catch your breath.

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Best gay quotes: The best gay quotes and most famous gay quotes 2

Best gay quotes: The best gay quotes and most famous gay quotes
A collection of best gay qutoes and famous gay quotes from the internet and from people gay or not who likes to share their thoughts and points of view about being gay. Enjoy..

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #11

The world is not divided into sheeps and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning sexual behavior the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.
-Alfred Kinsey

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #12

The important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself.
-Gore Vidal

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #13

I can't help looking gay. I put on a dress and people say, "Who's the dyke in the dress?"
-Karen Ripley

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #14

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.
-Benjamin Disraeli

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #15

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.
-Johann von Goethe

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #16

The church service was under way and they passed the collection plate. When the preacher saw a $100.00 bill in the collection plate, he stop the service and announced "who ever put the $100.00 bill in the plate please stand up".

A gay man stood up and said "I did".

The preacher told him "since you put that money in the plate I would like to let you pick out three hymes."

Excitedly, the gay guy said, "well I'll take him and him and him."
-unknown

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #17

"Gay and lesbian people fall in love. We settle down. We commit our lives to one another. We raise our children. We protect them. We try to be good citizens."
-Sheila Kuehl

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #18

"Is a gay play a play that has sex with other plays?"
-Harvey Fierstein

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #19

"There is a tendency in the gay community to become worse than straight people ever could be!"
-Michael Lucas

Best gay quotes: Famous gay quotes #20

"We are not the first but I am sure we will not be the last. After us will come many other countries, driven, ladies and gentleman, by two unstopable forces: freedom and equality"
-Jose Luis Rodrigueaz


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